Neurodiversity is About Being Different, Not Less
A Guide for Parents and Caregivers
March 16 kicks off Neurodiversity Celebration Week—a time to challenge stereotypes and transform how neurological differences are perceived. For parents and caregivers, understanding neurodiversity can be a profound shift. It moves the focus from "what is 'wrong' with my child?" to "how does my child's amazing brain work, and how can I best support them?"
This guide will walk you through what neurodiversity means, how to recognize it, and how to find the support your child and family need to thrive.
What Does Neurodiversity Mean?
The term "neurodiversity" was coined in the 1990s by sociologist Judy Singer, who is herself on the autism spectrum. She created it as a social justice concept to fight stigma and promote acceptance, arguing that people with autism, ADHD, and learning differences should be seen as "neurological minorities" whose brains work differently—not incorrectly.
At its core, neurodiversity is the concept that there is natural variation in how human brains work. There is no single "correct" way for a brain to function. Instead, there is a wide range of ways that people perceive, think about, and respond to the world. This framework encourages us to accept and even celebrate these differences.
Being neurodivergent means having a brain that functions in ways that diverge significantly from the dominant societal standard (the "neurotypical" brain). It’s important to remember that being different is not the same as being less.
What Does Neurodiversity Include?
Since there is no single formal definition, the list of conditions considered part of neurodiversity can vary. However, it consistently includes lifelong neurological conditions that affect learning, mood, behavior, and social interaction.
Commonly included diagnoses are:
Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and sometimes hyperactivity.
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Marked by differences in social communication, sensory processing, and repetitive behaviors or focused interests.
Specific Learning Differences
Dyslexia: Difficulty with reading, spelling, and writing.
Dysgraphia: Difficulty with writing.
Dyscalculia: Difficulty with math.
Dyspraxia (Developmental Coordination Disorder): Difficulty with motor coordination and planning.
Other Conditions
Often included are Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Tourette's syndrome, and sensory processing differences.
What Are the Key Aspects of Neurodiversity?
Understanding these core principles can change how you see and support your child:
Difference, Not Deficit:
The primary goal of the neurodiversity movement is to de-stigmatize different kinds of brain functionality. It views these variations as natural and potentially valuable, not as problems to be "fixed". It emphasizes that everyone has strengths and things they are working on.
Focus on Strengths:
Instead of a deficit-based model, a neurodiversity-affirming approach spotlights an individual's talents and interests. Whether it's creativity, hyperfocus, pattern recognition, or deep passion for a specific topic, these strengths are leveraged to build confidence and skills.
The Role of Environment:
The movement argues that many of the impairments associated with neurodivergence are caused by environments that aren't designed for them. A noisy, brightly lit classroom or a rigid social expectation can create disability. Therefore, a key goal is to advocate for changes in environments—schools, workplaces, social spaces—to make them more inclusive and accessible.
Identity and Community:
For many, especially teenagers, identifying as neurodivergent provides a powerful, brain-based explanation for their experiences. It can validate their struggles and connect them to a community of others who think and feel similarly, reducing isolation.
What is the Prevalence of Neurodiversity in Canada?
Approximately 1 in 11 (9.15%) of Canadian children between the ages of 4 and 11 have a neurodisability.
Neurodivergent conditions are among the most common neurodevelopmental disabilities in childhood.
The median age of autism diagnosis is 3.7 years, but many miss early intervention windows.
Overall, 1 in 50 (2.0%) of children and youth aged 1-17 have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
Males are diagnosed with ASD 4x more frequently than females (1 in 32 males vs. 1 in 125 females).
Among youth with disabilities, mental health-related (68%), learning (46%), and pain-related (34%) are most common.
Approximately 70% of children with neurodevelopmental conditions experience at least one mental health condition in their lifetime.
How Do You Get a Diagnosis?
If you suspect your child may be neurodivergent, a professional evaluation is the crucial first step. It can provide clarity, validate your child's experiences, and open doors to support.
Start the Conversation:
Talk to your child's pediatrician or family doctor. Share your observations and concerns. They can provide initial screening and refer you to specialists.
Seek a Specialist:
A comprehensive evaluation is typically conducted by a registered psychologist, neuropsychologist, psychiatrist, or a specialized pediatrician. They will use interviews, observations, and standardized assessment tools to understand your child's cognitive, academic, and social-emotional functioning.
What the Evaluation Provides:
A good evaluation will give you a detailed picture of your child's unique profile—their strengths and their challenges. It will determine if they meet the criteria for a specific diagnosis, which is often necessary to access school accommodations and funded therapies. However, even if a child doesn't meet the full criteria for a diagnosis, the evaluation should identify their struggles and form the basis of a support plan.
Be Open:
If your child comes to you saying they feel they are neurodivergent, respond with empathy and openness. Let them know you're glad they shared this with you. An evaluation is a positive next step, but it's helpful to prepare them that it may or may not lead to the specific diagnosis they expect.
What Kind of Support Can Be Provided?
Support for a neurodivergent child is most effective when it is personalized and builds on their strengths. It's about creating a "scaffolding" that helps them navigate a world not always built for them.
Create a Structured Environment:
Many neurodivergent children thrive with predictable routines, clear expectations, and visual reminders. This can ease anxiety and improve executive functioning skills like organization and time management.
Advocate for School Accommodations:
If your child struggles in school, explore formal support plans. In Canada, this might include an Individual Education Plan (IEP) or, in some provinces, a 504 Plan. Accommodations can include extra time on tests, assistive technology, a quiet work space, or modified assignments.
Encourage Strengths and Interests:
A child's passionate interest is not a distraction to be managed—it is a doorway to engagement, confidence, and skill-building. Support these passions; they are a tremendous asset.
Teach Self-Advocacy:
One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the ability to understand their own brain and communicate their needs. This might mean teaching them to say, "I need a quiet place to finish this," or "I'm feeling overwhelmed by the noise." This skill is essential for success in school, work, and life.
Connect with Community:
Seek out support groups, advocacy organizations, and social groups where your child can meet other neurodivergent kids and you can connect with other parents who understand the journey.
How Can Therapy and Support Services Help?
Therapy, when delivered through a neurodiversity-affirming lens, is not about "curing" a child. It's about empowering them.
Building Skills and Resilience:
Counselling can help children develop strategies for emotional regulation, social navigation, and managing anxiety—challenges that often accompany neurodivergence. It provides tools to cope with a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
Supporting Mental Health:
Neurodivergent teens are at a higher risk for anxiety and depression. Therapy provides a safe space to process these feelings and build emotional well-being.
Affirming Identity:
A good therapist helps a child see their neurodivergence as a core part of their identity—something to be understood and embraced, not ashamed of. This affirmation builds self-esteem and resilience.
Working Toward Personal Goals:
A strength-based therapist asks, "What are your goals?" and then uses evidence-based strategies to help the child achieve them, working on symptoms that get in their way while honoring their unique way of being.
One Parent's Journey:
Sometimes, seeing how the process unfolds for another family can make it feel less overwhelming. Here's a fictional example, woven from the real experiences of many families, to show what the journey toward diagnosis and support might look like.
Meet Maya and her mom, Sarah.
For years, Sarah noticed that her 14-year-old daughter, Maya, seemed to experience the world differently than her peers. Maya was incredibly creative and could spend hours immersed in drawing detailed fantasy maps. But she struggled profoundly with the social landscape of high school. She often missed sarcasm, took things literally, and would come home exhausted and in tears after days with unexpected schedule changes. Homework was a nightly battle, not because she wasn't smart, but because she couldn't seem to organize herself to start, let alone finish, assignments. Teachers said she was bright but "not working to her potential." Maya started telling her mom, "I feel like everyone else got a rulebook for life, and I didn't."
Step 1: Starting the Conversation
After Maya came home particularly upset about a group project where she felt completely left out, Sarah sat down with her. Instead of offering solutions, she just listened. She said, "It sounds incredibly hard to feel like you're missing those cues. Thank you for telling me." Later that week, Sarah made an appointment with Maya's pediatrician. She brought a list: Maya's strengths (incredible focus on her art, deep sense of justice, kind heart) and her challenges (social confusion, sensory overload in the cafeteria, executive functioning struggles).
Step 2: Seeking a Specialist
The pediatrician listened carefully. He agreed that an evaluation by a specialist could provide clarity and referred the family to a registered psychologist in the community who specialized in neurodevelopmental assessments for teens. He explained that because this was a medical referral, the assessment might be covered by OHIP, though wait times could be significant. He also gave them information about private options if they wished to pursue a faster timeline.
Step 3: The Evaluation
The assessment process took place over a few weeks. It included:
Interviews: The psychologist met with Sarah alone to get a detailed developmental history. She also met with Maya alone, creating a relaxed environment where she asked about Maya's experiences, feelings, and goals.
Questionnaires: Sarah, Maya, and one of her teachers completed detailed forms about Maya's behavior in different settings.
Cognitive and Academic Testing: Maya spent a few sessions with the psychologist doing a variety of tasks—some felt like puzzles, some involved reading and memory. These weren't pass/fail tests; they were designed to create a map of Maya's cognitive strengths and weaknesses.
Step 4: Getting the Answers
A few weeks later, they returned for a feedback session. The psychologist began by talking about Maya's strengths—her exceptional visual-spatial skills, her creativity, and her ability to deeply focus on topics that interested her. She then explained that Maya's profile was consistent with a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1) , formerly called Asperger's syndrome. She explained that Maya's brain processes social information and sensory input differently, which accounted for her exhaustion and confusion. She also identified that Maya had significant challenges with executive function, which are common for autistic individuals.
The psychologist was careful to frame this not as a label, but as a key to understanding. She said, "This doesn't change who Maya is. It gives us a roadmap for why somethings are hard and how to make them easier."
Step 5: Building a Plan
With the diagnosis in hand, Sarah felt a mix of emotions—validation for Maya's struggles and a clear sense of direction for the first time in years. The psychologist helped them create a plan:
For School: They requested a meeting to develop an Individual Education Plan (IEP). With the diagnosis, the school was able to put formal accommodations in place, including a quiet space for tests, permission to use a laptop for notes (which helped with her dyspraxia-like handwriting challenges), and a check-in with the guidance counselor at the start of each week to help her organize her assignments.
For Emotional Support: Maya started seeing a therapist who specialized in neurodiversity-affirming care. The therapist didn't try to "fix" her social skills but instead helped her understand her own needs, practice self-advocacy ("I can tell my group I need a few minutes to process before we decide"), and manage her anxiety.
At Home: Sarah learned to create more predictability. They used a shared online calendar so Maya could see the week ahead. She gave Maya space to decompress after school without demands. Most importantly, she started explicitly praising Maya's strengths, saying things like, "The way you visualized that map is incredible. Your brain sees connections other people miss."
The Outcome
The journey didn't end with the diagnosis—it began there. Maya slowly started to shed the belief that she was "broken." She found a small group of friends who appreciated her honesty and creativity. Homework became more manageable with her accommodations. Most importantly, she and Sarah developed a new language to talk about her experiences—a language of understanding, not frustration. Maya was still Maya, but now she had the tools and support to navigate a world that wasn't always built for her, and she knew, deeply, that she was different, not less.
Key Resources for Parents and Caregivers
Navigating this journey is easier with good information and support. Here are some places to start:
Neurodiversity Celebration Week: A worldwide initiative that provides resources and aims to transform how neurodivergent individuals are perceived and supported.
Child Mind Institute: Offers clear, practical articles on what neurodiversity means and how to support kids.
White Ribbon: Provides resources on supporting neurodiverse youth, including those with co-occurring mental health concerns.
Understood.org: A comprehensive resource for learning and thinking differences, with practical tips for parents and educators.
CADDAC (Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada): Provides advocacy, education, and support for individuals with ADHD and their families.
Autism Speaks Canada: Offers resources, toolkits, and information about autism and support services across Canada.
A Final Note for Parents and Caregivers
Recognizing and understanding your child's neurodiversity can be life-changing. It replaces confusion and frustration with clarity and direction. Every brain is unique, and with the right understanding, tools, and encouragement, neurodivergent children and youth can not only cope but truly thrive. At Lynwood Charlton Centre, we are here to walk alongside you and your family on that journey.
If you have concerns about your child or are looking for support, please contact us to learn more about our services.
REFERENCES / SOURCES:
Neurodiversity Awareness Week What is Neurodiversity?
White Ribbon Supporting Neurodiverse Youth And Youth With Mental Health Concerns
Government of Canada Autism: What Canada is doing
Kids Brain Health Network Neurodisabilities: Canadian Prevalence
The ADHD Space Parenting Neurodivergent Kids in Canada: What Support Looks Like Beyond Diagnosis
Psychology Today Is Your Teen Neurodiverse? How to recognize the signs of neurodiversity in your teen and offer support
aide canada Navigating the Teen Years: Some Tips for Parents in Moving Forward
Child Mind Institute What Is Neurodiversity And how can parents support kids who are neurodivergent?
