How Kindness Benefits Child and Youth Mental Health
Why Kindness Matters and How To Help It Grow
Kindness is much more than a polite gesture. It is a powerful, evidence-based force that directly contributes to the mental and physical well-being of children and youth. At a time when mental health challenges are prevalent, nurturing kindness offers a proactive, accessible, and transformative path to resilience and connection.
This guide explores why kindness is a critical social-emotional skill, how it benefits young people, and provides practical ways for kids, teens, and the adults who support them to cultivate a culture of kindness in daily life.
What Are the Different Forms of Kindness?
Kindness is a multifaceted skill that extends far beyond just being "nice." Research indicates that for a majority of young people, kindness means doing something for someone else without expecting anything in return. It's a proactive choice that builds strong, healthy relationships.
Here are the core forms of kindness, broken down for better understanding:
Kindness to Others
Sharing, helping, giving compliments, standing up for someone, including others. Why it Matters: Strengthens social bonds, builds community, and is socially contagious—inspiring others to act kindly too.
Kindness from Others
Receiving support, a listening ear, encouragement, or help when needed. Why it Matters: Makes a young person feel valued, safe, and connected. This external validation is crucial for self-worth.
Witnessing Kindness
Seeing acts of kindness happen in the world, at school, or in media. Why it Matters: Provides positive social models, reinforces prosocial behavior, and restores faith in community.
Self-Kindness
Treating oneself with patience, speaking kindly to oneself, allowing for mistakes, practicing self-care. Why it Matters: This is the foundation. It reduces self-criticism and builds the internal resilience needed to be kind to others.
Kindness can be grand gestures, but its true power often lies in simple, consistent actions like a smile, an offer to help, or a few words of encouragement. These small moments build the fabric of a supportive environment.
The Mental and Physical Benefits of Being Kind
The benefits of kindness are profound and backed by science. Engaging in kind acts triggers positive changes in our brains and bodies.
Mental and Emotional Benefits:
Boosts Happiness and Reduces Stress: Performing acts of kindness releases feel-good chemicals in the brain, like serotonin and endorphins. This creates a "helper's high," improving mood for the giver. Studies show it can improve the giver's well-being even more than the receiver's.
Counteracts Anxiety and Depression: Kindness fosters connection and purpose, which are powerful antidotes to feelings of isolation and hopelessness that can accompany anxiety and depression.
Builds Resilience: By focusing on positive action, kindness helps young people cope with challenges. A significant majority of youth (93%) report that kindness has helped them move forward during tough times.
Strengthens Social-Emotional Skills: Kindness is the "ultimate social-emotional skill." It paves the way for effectively learning empathy, cooperation, and conflict resolution.
Physical Health Benefits:
While the primary focus is mental wellness, kindness has tangible physical effects. It can lower blood pressure and reduce cortisol, the body's primary stress hormone. By promoting relaxation and positive emotion, it contributes to overall physical health, reinforcing that mental health is an integral part of total health.
Notable Findings:
(93%) youth said that kindness helped them move forward in the past year. In fact, 79% of respondents said that they want to be a kinder person, proving the power of kindness in times of despair.
Most young people say that kindness boosts their mental wellness, whether receiving it from others (73%), seeing it in the world (71%), or just being kinder to themselves (74%).
Parents/guardians are the most common source (63%) of inspiration for youth to be kind, especially for 13-17 year olds. A majority (79%) of youth surveyed said that someone going out of their way to show that they care would have an impact on their mental wellness.
There is a kindness divide. Some youth experience less kindness than others, potentially impacting their mental wellness. For example, those who are less financially secure, older (18-24), and/or LGBTQ+ are less likely than their counterparts to say that they regularly see kindness in the world. White youth are more likely than Black, Indigenous, and youth of color to say they experience or receive acts of kindness.
Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters (and How to Do It)
Self-kindness is not selfish; it's essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Being kind to yourself means treating yourself with the same compassion, patience, and understanding you would offer a good friend.
The "Why": Self-kindness builds a stable foundation of self-worth. It teaches young people that their value isn't conditional on perfection. This internal safety net allows them to navigate setbacks, academic pressure, and social challenges without crumbling. It is the first step in recognizing that "it's okay not to be okay" and seeking help is a sign of strength.
The "How" for Kids & Teens:
Positive Self-Talk: Replace "I'm so bad at this" with "I'm learning, and that's okay."
Permission to Rest: It's okay to take a break, say no to extra activities, or have quiet time.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge effort, not just perfect outcomes.
Healthy Coping: Talk about feelings, engage in hobbies, and move your body in enjoyable ways.
Simple Ways for Kids and Youth to Be Kind
Kindness is a muscle that gets stronger with practice. Here are simple, actionable ideas.
Being Kind to Others:
In School: Hold the door, offer to help a classmate with work, include someone who is alone at lunch, or write an anonymous thank-you note to a staff member.
At Home: Do a chore without being asked, give a genuine compliment to a family member, or simply listen without interrupting.
In the Community: Donate old books or toys, help a neighbor, or participate in a community clean-up.
Online: Send a supportive message, compliment someone's creative work, or report unkind behavior instead of spreading it.
Being Kind to Themselves:
Take three deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed.
Write down three things they like about themselves or are grateful for.
Spend 30 minutes on an activity they love, guilt-free.
Tell themselves, "I did my best today," at the end of the day.
Practical Tools for Adults to Foster Kindness:
Kindness Jar/Wall: Create a space where acts of kindness are noticed and celebrated.
"Pay It Forward": Encourage noticing good qualities in others and performing a kind act for someone new.
Use Literature: Read and discuss stories about kindness. Ask questions like, "How do you think that character felt?"
The Lifelong Benefits: How Childhood Kindness Shapes Adulthood
The kindness skills learned in youth are not just for childhood; they are cornerstones for a healthy, successful adulthood.
Stronger Relationships: Kind adults know how to build trust, communicate with empathy, and maintain supportive friendships and partnerships.
Professional Success: Kindness fosters teamwork, leadership, and positive workplace cultures. These are highly valued skills in any career.
Resilient Mental Health: The neural pathways for coping with stress through positive connection and self-compassion are established early. Adults who practice kindness have a built-in buffer against life's challenges.
Civic Engagement: Young people who value kindness often grow into adults who contribute positively to their communities through volunteering, advocacy, and simple neighborly care.
A Final Note for Parents and Caregivers
You are the most common source of inspiration for your child to be kind. Talk about it, model it, and celebrate it. When you treat yourself and others with compassion, you make it "crystal clear that kindness is expected and treasured within the family." By prioritizing kindness, we don't just improve a child's day—we invest in their lifelong capacity for health, happiness, and meaningful connection.
Remember, support is always available. If you or a young person you know is struggling, please reach out:
One Stop Talk is a free, confidential service that lets children and youth under 18 years of age get immediate mental health support with a registered therapist. Call 1 855 416 TALK (8255) or connect online from anywhere in Ontario
Kids Help Phone: Call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.
Talk Suicide Canada: Call or text 1-833-456-4566 (24/7).
If your child or youth is experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 9-1-1 or COAST (905) 972-8338 or visit McMaster Children’s Hospital: Child and Youth Mental Health Emergency Services (CHYMES).
REFERENCES / SOURCES:
Kids Mental Health Foundation Kindness Benefits Children’s Mental Health
Psychology Today Cultivating Kindness and Nurturing Youth Mental Health
Psychology Today Why It’s So Important to Teach Kids to Be Kind
Primary Care Alberta Cultivating kindness in kids
Everyday Mental Health Classroom Resource Acts of Kindness
Ottawa Catholic School Board Let’s Talk About Compassion and Well-Being
Channel Kindness (A Project of Born This Way Foundation) New Survey Explores the Impact of Kindness on Youth Mental Health
