Back-to-School Mental Health Check-In
A Guide for Parents and Caregivers
The first few weeks of school are a time of transition—new routines, new teachers, new social dynamics. For many children and youth, this can bring excitement, anxiety, or a mix of both.
As a parent or caregiver, you are in the best position to notice when something feels off. A mental health check-in is not about diagnosing a problem. It is about opening a door. It is about creating a space where your child feels safe enough to say, "I am not okay," before things get harder.
These questions are designed to be conversation starters. You do not need to ask them all at once. Choose a few that feel right for your child, your relationship, and the moment. Listen without interrupting. Resist the urge to fix. Just let them know you are there.
For Primary Grades (1-4)
How to Use These Questions: These questions are simple and concrete, using feelings, colours, and body language. Let your child draw, point, or move to express themselves. The goal is to help them name what they feel—not to get it "right."
If you could draw a picture of how you have been feeling this week, what would it look like?
Look at these crayons. What colour feels like your mood today? Why did you choose that colour?
Show me with your face and your body how you are feeling right now. Can you tell me about it?
Who is one person at school or at home who makes you feel safe and happy? What do they do that helps?
When you feel really sad, worried, or mad, what do you do? Where do you feel those feelings in your body?
What is something you are worried about these days? What helps you feel less worried?
Is there anything that has happened at school or at home that has made you feel scared or upset?
What is your favourite part of your day at school? What is the hardest part?
How is your body feeling? Do you have any tummy aches, headaches, or other pains?
What is something I, or another grown-up you trust, can do to help you feel better?
For Intermediate Grades (5-8)
How to Use These Questions: At this age, children can handle more nuanced questions. They may still need help connecting their feelings to their bodies and behaviours. Let them know there are no wrong answers. If they are quiet, sit with them. Sometimes the most important conversations happen in the silence.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how has your week been? What would make it a 10?
What feelings have come up the most for you this week—sad, happy, worried, proud, angry, something else?
Who do you talk to when you are not feeling your best? How does that person help you?
What is the best part of your school day right now? What is the hardest part? Is there anything making you feel nervous?
How have you been sleeping and eating lately? Do you feel you are getting enough rest and food that helps you feel good?
When you feel stressed, what are the "red flags" your body gives you? (e.g., headache, racing heart, stomachache, feeling hot or shaky)
How are things going with your friends? Have you felt lonely or left out lately? Tell me about that.
What is one thing that has made you feel proud of yourself this week? What is something you are looking forward to?
Is there anything on your mind that you would like to tell me, but you are not sure how? We can just sit with it if that is easier.
If you were having a tough time with your feelings, who would you want to talk to? What would you want them to say to you?
For High School Grades (9-12)
How to Use These Questions: Teens often have more complex emotional lives and may be more guarded. Approach these conversations with respect and without pressure. A walk or a drive where you are side-by-side can feel safer than sitting face-to-face. Acknowledge that you trust them to navigate their own world, and that you are a resource they can turn to.
How are you really doing—not the polite answer, but the honest one?
Have you felt more tired, overwhelmed, or anxious than usual lately? What do you think is contributing to that?
When you are feeling down or stressed, what kind of support helps you most? (e.g., someone to listen, space to be alone, a distraction, practical help)
How are you managing the workload and expectations this year? Do you feel you have good strategies for staying on top of things?
What is your relationship with yourself like these days? Are you being kind to yourself, or are you hard on yourself?
How are your friendships and social connections? Is there anything about your social life that is weighing on you?
What are you doing for self-care—for your body and your mind? Are there things you used to enjoy that you have lost interest in?
What feels meaningful or hopeful to you right now? What is draining your energy?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you feel like you can talk to me or other trusted adults about hard things? What would make it feel safer to do so?
Is there anything you want to share about how you are feeling that you have not found the words for yet?
What to Do After a Check-In
A check-in is the beginning, not the end.
Listen and validate. Thank your child for sharing. Tell them you are proud of them for being honest. Say, "That sounds really hard. I am glad you told me."
Do not rush to problem-solve. Often, children and youth just want to feel heard. Unless they ask for solutions, just listen.
Follow up. If they shared something concerning, check in again soon. "I was thinking about what you said yesterday. I just want you to know I am here."
Know when to seek support. If your child expresses thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or is struggling to function, take it seriously. Contact a professional immediately.
You are not alone in this. And neither is your child. If you are concerned, help is available.
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 9-8-8 (available 24/7)
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868
Lynwood Charlton Centre: Contact our Access and System Navigation team at 905-389-1361 for free, confidential mental health support for children, youth, and families in Hamilton
